The Rumble

Oh yes, people have been going on about Christmas since August and we now have new merchandise hitting the stores just in time for that special time of the year.

The first disturbing items are of course the JLS dolls.

They come with more clothes than you’ve ever seen them wear and of course the trademark low-cut top on Marvin (shouldn’t be too hard to figure out what doll is his).

But those little figurines don’t even come close to matching the amount of cash this next artist is going to generate…

The second item is (and this is somewhat expected) a Justin Bieber ‘action figure’

If watching his videos doesn’t quite satisfy your Bieber needs you can now buy these JB dolls which include a little clip of the featured song and outfits from the music videos… If that’s not quite enough for you then remember that you also get a mini fan magazine with your precious toy. Still not happy? 2 JB dolls aren’t enough? Then get some more! There are other figures in all of his ‘signature looks’ - street style, awards style and red carpet style…

Your 5 different Justin Biebers aren’t cutting it for you? Fear not, there’s even more stuff!

Get the teddy bears…

And a singing microphone (which plays short clips of his music) complete with ‘concert-inspired accessories’…

Now if you are wondering why you’d buy these things then you are probably too intelligent to belong to the Bieber fanbase and I salute you.

If it’s not you with the problem but instead your kid then don’t indulge in her obsession. Fight back! Don’t buy any of these things and don’t get her any JLS crap either. Instead slowly introduce her to new music and buy her some Lego (she will try to build her own version of a JB doll but she will eventually give up).

Ultraviolet Sound are one of my favourite bands right now.

They’re essentially great dance music (with a pinch of dubstep and D&B) that reminds me of the great Bodyrox & Luciana tracks that topped the charts a couple of years ago.

Definitely listen to Suck My Kiss (their first single), Strawberry Fields, Fuckdup, La La Love, 2 Of Hearts, Tiger Heat and everything else you can get on myspace!

Once Justin Bieber became popular a sudden rush for young pop singers started. Ellen DeGeneres is in the race (although lets face it, that doesn’t mean much) and more recently Simon Cowell’s eyes glowed of joy when coming across Liam Payne on the X Factor. Which is quite funny because Liam had auditioned before, so really Simon Cowell missed on having the ‘real’ Bieber phenomenon.

Anyway, are any of these boys good? We are yet to hear anything substantial from both Liam and Greyson but realistically what can they bring that’s new? One of them is an exact copy of Bieber the other one pretends to write songs about love when he’s 13.

What all these A&R guys don’t understand is that Justin Bieber worked because he was unique (it wasn’t all about the hair). Together with Scooter Braun he developed a strong fanbase through youtube before ever approaching a record label.

It was this sense of entitlement that all the young girls felt towards him that made him such a big deal. Bieber wasn’t force fed on them, they discovered him. All these guys fail on that. They are ridiculously manufactured but lack the great pop music that Bieber’s team created and on top of that they make Bieber seem an adult (Greyson and Cody are 13).

The one exception to all this is Jaden Smith. The little guy is the cool kid on the block with a slightly different style, a movie and a collaboration with Justin Bieber. He is set to destroy all the competition quite soon.

So go away little boys. Go through puberty; let your voice change; live a little bit and then become singers if you want. Till then Justin Bieber and Jaden Smith have it covered.

I quite randomly stumbled across KDotForbe when checking out a website that allows people to upload mixtapes and share them with other members.

Even from his artwork you can guess that he’s the kind of hip hop artist that is radio friendly, has a whole range of themes in his music and catchy samples. The mixtape just goes on to prove this right.

In his most commercial tracks he sounds a lot like Travie McCoy (not sure whether that’s a good thing or not?). That said, he does have the sense of humour and intelligence that could very soon match Lupe Fiasco and the kid of the moment, B.o.B.

Grab it for free at: http://www.datpiff.com/KDotForbes_Summer_School_Session.m144750.html

And make sure you listen to Talking, Popular, Barrelhouse, Baby Listen and I’m Really.

Expecting great things from Forbes!

I’ve always had a soft spot for Adam Levine and I loved their debut album so I was quite excited about hearing their new material.

I also recently realised that they have a much larger fanbase than I had ever thought. I had no idea people wanted Maroon 5 shot glasses and Maroon 5 shorts…

Anyway, Misery the lead single and first track is a classic funk-pop Maroon 5 song but unfortunately it’s followed by an endless amount of album fillers. There isn’t a single song other than Misery that really got my attention when I first listened to the album. There is just something about the songs that really makes them repetitive almost instantly… Andy Gill expressed how I feel about the songs far more efficiently than me on his review for The Independent where he said that the ‘songs fizz with a momentary ersatz-soul quality but evaporate almost instantly – the musical equivalent of the Cheshire Cat.’

Plus what’s up with choosing potentially the most dull song ever to close the album? Out Of Goodbyes with Lady Antebellum is painfully weak and forgettable. Then again, weak and forgettable are perfect choices of adjectives for this album.

The best tracks are: Misery, I Can’t Lie, How, Just A Feeling, Runaway and Last Chance (which comes with the deluxe edition). You’re probably better off getting Misery and pretending the rest of the album never came out though…

I am slightly biased when it comes to this gorgeous man. I do understand that this album doesn’t live up to the expectations some people had after Ready but I personally think Passion Pain & Pleasure is a solid album in its own right.

There are essentially 4 parts to the album which are meant to represent all the emotions that come with love as interpreted by Trey (let the corniness begin). There’s a general part (where all the singles seem to be) as well as a part for Pain, Pleasure and Passion. Unfortunately each section is separated by a crappy/corny interlude (except for the pleasure interlude that should have been made into a full length song) but if you can get past that you’ll find a strong RnB album.

The two main problems that I have with this album are that both the pleasure and passion parts have songs with quite lazy production, then again he might have been going for the cheesy production in songs like Doorbell, who knows. The other problem is that sometimes Trey tries so hard that he ends up sounding just like R. Kelly (and I don’t know a lot about R. Kelly so if I can tell the strong resemblance then everyone else can too) who I’m sure is his mentor but still…

But enough of bad things. The best songs on the album are Please Return My Call, Made To Be Together, Can’t Be Friends, Red Lipstick, Massage and of course, Bottoms Up, the lead single that features a few hilarious verses by Nicki Minaj!